All relationships go through rough patches from time to time.
But if a relationship endures too many harmful behaviors or moments, it can be difficult to save.
The therapist shared three ways to tell if your relationship might be failing.
If you find yourself in the middle of an emotionally charged argument with your partner or feel stuck in a relationship slump, it’s normal to wonder if your dynamic is still working.
Usually, if a relationship is past the point of saving, there are complicating factors at play, such as the criticality of the partner’s character and lack of interest improve your relationshipaccording to therapist and neuropsychologist Aldrich Chan. If one or both partners exhibit this behavior, it could mean your relationship is falling apart, she said.
Of course, going through challenging times and disagreements with your partner is normal and can definitely strengthen a relationship when handled carefully, Chan said. “But if multiple factors are present at the same time, or all together, it can really increase the risk of a relationship failing,” he told Business Insider.
They judge your character
It’s one thing to feel frustrated or annoyed with your partner from time to time. But if you or your partner repeatedly respond to these negative emotions attack another person’s characterit can damage your connection irreparably, according to Chan.
If the conversation regularly turns to hurtful remarks or sarcastic retorts when you and your partner argue, it can create emotional distance between the partners or leads to bitternessChan said.
“It is characterized by a condescending attitude where one partner acts morally superior to the other partner,” Chan told BI. In a healthy dynamic, partners argue with the goal of understanding each other, not putting each other down, he said.
They become silent in difficult moments
During heated disagreements, some people may feel overwhelmed and may need to take a break to process their feelings before finding a solution with their partner. It’s normal and even helpful to ask for space for this, Chan said.
But if someone goes quiet without communicating their need first and gives their partner the silent treatment, that could be a sign that the relationship isn’t working, according to Chan.
He said this behavior is often called “stone wall” can undermine trust and connection because it leaves the other partner feeling threatened and insecure during times of high tension.
If someone disagrees with their partner, feels unrecognized, or wants their partner to behave differently, it’s better to tell them as directly and calmly as possible so you can work through it together, Chan said.
You feel indifference in improving your connection
Everyone messes up their relationship from time to time, accidentally reigniting an argument because they didn’t calm down enough in the first place or forget the schedule Date night because work was busy.
But if you or your partner find that you there is no more energy or interest in making your connection stronger and more lasting, it might be time to end things, Chan said.
“If you’ve tried several times to communicate clearly and concisely with your partner, and maybe even changed some things for your partner, but they seem to resist all your attempts, that’s a sign that it’s not working,” Chan told BI.
In a healthy dynamic, partners apologize for their mistakes and work to invest in relationship-strengthening practices, such as reading self-help books, going to therapy, and seeing each other regularly to improve the dynamic, according to Chan.
Read the original article on Business Insider
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