30 things people don’t realize you do because of your depression

Most people imagine that depression is really sad,” and unless you’ve experienced depression yourself, you may not know that it goes so much deeper than that. Depression manifests in many different ways, some more obvious than others. Although some people have hard when you get out of bed, others can get work just fine, it’s different for everyone.

To find out how depression shows up in ways other people don’t see, we asked The Mighty mental health community to share one thing people don’t realize they’re doing because they have depression.

Here’s what they had to say:

1. In social situations, some people do not understand that I am withdrawn or speak little due to depression. Instead, they think I’m rude or purposefully anti-social.” Laura B.

2. I have a hard time getting out of bed, sometimes for hours. Then the mere thought of taking a shower is exhausting. If I can do that, I’ll be ready for a nap. People don’t understand, but anxiety and depression are exhausting, just like a real physical fight with a professional boxer.” Juli J.

3. Social plans but canceling at the last minute. I’m using an excuse, but you really knocked it out. It makes you think that your friends don’t really want to see you, they just feel bad. Obligation.” Brynne L.

4. Hiding on my phone. Yes, I’m addicted to it, but not like other people. I don’t socialize, play games, or browse online stores to distract myself from my negative thoughts. It’s my safety bubble.” Eveline L.

5. Going to bed at 9pm and sleeping all night until 10 or 11″ Karissa D.

6. Isolating myself, not using my potential at work because I lack interest in anything, making self-deprecating jokes. I’ve said it many times before, “I laugh so I don’t cry.” Unfortunately, it’s all too true.” Kelly K.

a man sits on a chair covering his eyesPhoto by Christopher Lemercier on Unsplash

7. When I hold hands when I’m down, it’s because I want someone to tell me I’m not alone. Not because I want attention.” Tina B.

8. I don’t like talking on the phone. I prefer texting. There is less pressure. Also antisocial. Not because I don’t want to be around people, but because I’m pretty sure not everyone can stand me.” Meghan B.

9. I overcompensate in my work environment and work on the front lines at a fitness center, so I feel the need to portray a “very happy, bubbly personality.” As soon as I walk out the door at the end of the day, I feel like I’m “falling”. It’s exhausting, I’m a pro at hiding it.” Lynda H.

10. Excessive drinking. Most people assume I’m trying to be “the life of the party” or like drinking in general. I often get compliments on it. But my problems run much deeper than that.” Teresa A.

11. I hide in my room for hours and watch Netflix or Hulu to distract myself, or I often go to the bathroom or into another room during social gatherings because social situations sometimes get to me.” Kelci F.

12. By saying I’m tired or I’m not feeling well, they don’t understand how much depression can affect you both physically and emotionally.” Lauren G.

13. Answer slowly. It makes my brain spin slower and I can’t think of answers to questions as quickly. Especially when someone asks what I want to do, I don’t really want anything. I isolate myself so I don’t have to be in a situation where I have to respond because it’s exhausting.” Erin W.

14. Sometimes I forget to eat all day. I feel my stomach rumbling, but I don’t have the willpower to get up and make something to eat.” Kenzi I.

15. I don’t talk much in large groups of people, especially when meeting them for the first time. I withdraw because of my anxiety and depression. People think I’m stuck. I’m really scared that they won’t like me or that they’ll think I’m ‘crazy’ just by looking at me,” Hanni W.

16. Not connecting with anyone, poor personal hygiene, and extremely bad reactions to seemingly trivial things.” Jenny B.

17. Being angry, mean, or rude to people I love without realizing it in the moment. I realize my actions and words later and feel terrible that I had taken my anger out on people who don’t deserve it.” Christie C.

18. I purposely work during the holidays so I can avoid spending time with my family. It’s overwhelming to be around them and talk about the future and life, so I avoid it.” Aislinn G.

19. My house is a huge mess.” Cynthia H.

20. I volunteer for everything from going to PTO meetings to babysitting and cleaning someone else’s home for them. I surround myself with situations and obligations that force me to get out of bed and out of the house because if I’m not needed, I’m not wanted.” Carleigh W.

This story was originally published on The Mighty and originally appeared here on 7/21/17

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